Kaley is leaving. Simply put her school is closing and she is leaving early. She is happy to be returning home early and seeing friends and family...but what am I going to do? Selfish...yes I know but I forewarned you I have a touch of the blahs and invited myself to my very own pity party so just deal. I got a new tutor student today and I was having him write me an introduction essay...while they do this I like to write one to them. I told him that I have been in Korea for 10 months and at first I was really lonely and missed my friends and family and then I naturally told him about Kaley. Since I have met Kaley we have literally only spent like 6 days apart. That is crazy...but we both became so dependent on one another. I love Kaley. I like having breakfast with her every day. I like that she makes me watch movies that I pull my nose up at. I like that she encourages me to go to the gym. I like that her sense of adventure surpasses my own and we have epic adventures together. I like that I get a hug every day. I miss hugs. I like that we can have arguments or tiffs and that we are able to get over them. I like that she makes fun of me. She is my family...my sister...what am I going to do without her?
I still do not have a job. At this point I still do not have a job. I am trying to figure out what God has in store for me and I just honestly don't have it all figured out. He has a purpose and a plan and I just need to figure it out and put ALL my trust in Him. My plan as of right now is to move back to the cities at the end of September. Get on some sub lists and start applying to schools. I am highly interested in International Schools so I may check that out but I am also really feeling the need to be home for a while. I feel like my tank is very empty and I need to fill it up. I need to be around my best friend. I need to see her kids and take walks with her. I need to be by my other best friend and lay on her bed and listen to her crazy stories and tell her my hopes, fears, and plans for the future...I need to hold my nephew. He is at that perfect cuddle age and I need him to like me enough to wrap his little arms around me and cuddle with me. I need to see my new niece or nephew in November. I need to hold him/her and smell their new baby smell. I need to go to my home church. I need to see all the people who love me most...Who support me...who have written me letters faithfully the WHOLE time I have been in Korea. I need to sit by a camp fire with my mom and dad. I need to go out for breakfast with them. I need to just exist in their loving presence for a while. I need to visit my Grandma. I need to visit my old small group...to hear how God has been faithful and has challenged them this past year. I need to have dinner with my 3105ers hold their babies, listen to their stories, and go on some kind of crazy adventure. I need to take my dog for a walk, and have him follow me around the house until it drives me bananas. I am empty and I need to be filled up. This in the life of me comes through spending quality time with the people who love me and whom I love. It is just two months away!!!! It is two months away....
The little petty things that tipped the boat?
- Making plans that just don't pan out. That really bugs me and we had a weekend full of these plans.
- My school situation....it's driving me crazy....
- the humidity
- the dust/nothing ever seems clean and if you know me at all you know this drives me a little nutso...
- new friends...such good friends that even when plans fall through we have an amazing time! Laura, John, and Ian you are huge blessing to me!
- opportunities...yes even though I don't have a teaching job in America God gave me a whole year to experience and explore Korea...I have seen so many beautiful things and had so many amazing experiences...
- Kaley...I have a new sister! She is fun...she is witty...she has made my time in Korea so enjoyable...this year would have been a lot different if it weren't for her.
- an understanding boss....even though my school situation leaves A LOT...and I mean A LOT to be desired...I do have a good relationship with my director...he has been very understanding in regard to when my last day will be...of which I am still waffling...but he is patiently waiting...I am blessed with that
- Incredibly faithful friends and family...of course I have not maintained relationships with everyone back home but I have felt VERY supported and loved the whole year...Tracy has sent me a care package literally EVERY SINGLE MONTH I have been here! She also calls me AT LEAST once every week...she is an amazing best friend! My parents and brother have also been incredibly faithful in their skyping and package sending. And I have three wonderful people who send me letters EVERY MONTH sometimes every other week...These letters pick me up and help me get through so thank you Linda, Harold, and Dorothy...that means the world to me.
Here are some pictures from this past weekend...We ran a 4k...somehow I got signed up for the half marathon...I didn't run it...We got free stuff....and had fun with good friends!
We started the weekend off by getting FREE vitamin waters...WaHoo for free stuff!
We started the weekend off by getting FREE vitamin waters...WaHoo for free stuff!
Sunday we ran in a race, John did the 10 k and we all did the 4 k...This is pre-run
This is post- run...we all finished! We also got more FREE stuff...medals, t-shirts, socks, and a bag of goodies to eat after the race!
Kaley has officially moved in...do you remember how I said one of the small things that got me down was the humidity...Well this sweat is all from a 20 minute walk home from Kaley's apartment...yeah...that is disgusting
Holly - I made a mistake-I read your blog at work and it made me so sad that I got tears in my eyes! I just want you to know that I think you are a very strong person and I couldn't get out of my comfort zone as far as you have.... But look at what you have GAINED! Friends, experiences of a lifetime, knowledge, faith, self-confidence and strength. And this fall, when you return to the US, we can't wait to greet you back with hugs (especially a very sweet little boy who will LOVE to love you!). Hang in there girl - God has a plan... Love, Diane
ReplyDeleteWell, Diane said it very well. :) Holly, you also AMAZE me with your adventurous spirit and willingness to just let God lead you wherever the wind blows. I am jealous and impressed with your travels. I do so wish you were moving to Michigan however... I know you will be happiest back in the cities. I'm glad you are coming home to recoup at least for a while. I will pray that a job will surface very soon. I would love to see you in person this year. or 2011 for sure. I have not been good at keeping contact, although rest assured, I've probably written you more than anyone else I've written... which isn't saying much ;S but know that I love you and think of you often. <3
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